tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607724603446085537.post6110358489984771091..comments2023-06-21T10:16:48.140-04:00Comments on Free My Mind...and the Rest Will Follow?: parental issues...Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00266927026846072945noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607724603446085537.post-45680813644478003522009-08-06T16:04:13.947-04:002009-08-06T16:04:13.947-04:00Hmm… this is deep. So…. hope you don’t mind my two...Hmm… this is deep. So…. hope you don’t mind my two cents… just an opinion… <br /><br />I’d like to give your mom some credit on at least being upfront with you and your brother about the man. By upfront, I’m meaning giving you guys the chance to meet him, and talking to you about him. She didn’t have to. Sounds like she’s trying to do things the right way this time around. I do agree that she was being insensitive by asking you and your brother to break bread with him so soon, but it could be totally innocent on her part. She could really be thinking about how he’s helping her heal, he could help ya’ll too. <br /><br />At most, their relationship seems like a friendship that is progressing into more. She wants the two most important people in her life (you and your brother) to give her their blessing. I can respect that, as I’m sure you can. The only problem is that you are not ready. She really can’t expect you to be though. Also, one thing to keep in mind is that, your father had a different relationship with your mother than he had with you. (Not trying to state the obvious, hear me out) Your brother and you were his like sun, moon, and stars, (just going by the fact that he had affairs) your mom could have genuinely been optional to him. I’m sure he loved her. I’m sure. But you guys got the best of him, and she got the worst of him. I have an uncle who’s been the father I’ve never had, and he cheats on my aunt and has had kids outside of the marriage and all that but he treats me and my siblings like pure gold. I feel bad for the way he treats her, but that doesn’t alter my perception of him. He’s still a King and I love him unconditionally, though I know he does her wrong. I can’t see from her perspective why she does the things she does (stashes money, over the top flirts with men, etc) because he’s terrific to me. When she says something negative about him, I’m offended, even though the rational chick in me knows good and well that he’s a jackass to her.<br /><br />So really, to you, your mom is being disrespectful. But to her, though he’s gone, God rest his soul, she doesn’t feel like she’s doing anything ill because of the way he treated her at certain times. Yes its warped, and she’ll see it eventually, but it doesn’t change her love for you, your brother, or your father. <br /><br />Just my thoughts….Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com