at this point in time...

I sat for my life insurance licensing exam last week. To pass, I needed at 66. My ass scored 64. Right before I clicked "Finish," I went back and changed two answers. My luck. I'm going to reschedule for next week.

The weight is coming off.

I've narrowed down my schools. I'll begin the application process this weekend.

I haven't done any applications, but I do know where I'll be applying to work.

I haven't thrown away any clothes that don't fit, just keep pushing them out of my way in the closet.

I have began reading Lauren Conrad's book, "L.A. Candy." I won't take the book out of my apartment because I'm embarrassed to be seen with it, but I'm a huge L.C. fan and couldn't stand to not check it out. It isn't that good. But I know myself and I will surely read the other ones when they come out as well. Just because.

I'm training to run a 5k with my friend Elizabeth in April. I'm excited about it. I've never participated in an official race before. When she first asked me to do it with her, I was a little hesitant because I didn't realize that 5k was just 3.1 miles. After I googled it, I agreed. It's going to be fun. Something for her and I to work towards together, neither of us has ran a race before, so we'll be doing a "first" together. She's a good friend, so I'm excited about the time that we'll spend training together because we don't see one another often. As of right now, I can run 2.5 miles before I just can't go any further. It takes me almost 30 minutes. I'm hoping to be at 3 miles before February. Then I'll work on completing it faster.

My mom's birthday is next week. My brother and I have already went through our birthdays without Dad and now it's her turn. I called her today to see what she wanted to do. We decided on dinner at her favorite Italian restaurant. She told me who to invite. She kept asking me how I felt about so-and-so and if we should invite what's-her-name. I kept telling her, "it's your day, it's about you, whoever you want to invite is who we'll have." Then she popped the big one. She wanted to know if I meant everybody but her Man Friend. I took in a deep breath. And said no. I told her to invite him. I agreed to meet him. I'm still not thrilled about the fact that she's dating so soon, but she's not going to stop doing it for my benefit. So I guess I'm ready to just suck it up and let her live. She lets me live. I just hope I don't do something stupid like cry at the table.

An old friend of mine has recently contacted me. I've missed him horribly and I'm extremely happy to be back talking to him. Part of me wants to jump in the car and go see him this weekend, but I probably won't. We used to have a blast together and from phone conversations, I gather that he's just a more mature version of the same guy I remember. I'll be excited to make plans to see him soon.

one day

I NEED to go to the gym. Desperately.

And I need to be studying for my life insurance exam.

And I need to clean my apartment.

And I need to plan my finances for the month.

And there's 13 loads of clean laundry that need to be folded and put away.

And I feel like doing NONE of it. Not one bit.

I've been awake for about 3 hours now. And I have to be at work in 3 hours.

But here I sit, just watching the hours tick off.

Doing nothing.

I'm just NOT feeling it. I'm not in a bad mood at all, but I'm not really feeling like making any moves.

I haven't done anything to really deserve a nothing day...sometimes when a person's been grinding hard for days and days on end, they deserve a day of ass-sitting and relaxation. I haven't been doing that and I don't think I ever really have. I can't justify just sitting around for the next 3 hours because I want to. People don't reach goals and get ahead that way.

But what is one day...?!

january goals

1. Get my life insurance license.

2. Apply for at least 3 jobs.

3. Narrow down my list of graduate schools and apply to my top choices.

4. Drop another 10 pounds and officially make myself 60 pounds lighter.

5. Take a good, honest look at my wardrobe and donate the items that I will never wear again.

I feel like it's a reasonable list of things to accomplish this month. Perhaps I'll do more. But that's a start.

rockstar lifestyle might not make it

I had a wonderful New Year's. I was in great company, had a great time, got wasted like a white boy, and loved every minute of my NYE celebration, minus the part where I blew chunks all over the parking lot of my apartment building. I was embarrassed, I'm too old to not handle my liquor better than that. We did the math and I'd had 9 drinks in 3 hours. I guess I had a right to be sick. It was all fine and good until the car ride home though, that's what did me in. I naturally get car sick often, so liquor just set the whole thing off.

My friends Stalker and College Buddy spent some time together. I randomly got a text from Stalker, "I fucked your friend." I was cracking up. Until the next day, I got a BBM from College Buddy saying that she wasn't attracted to Stalker, she wasn't her type, and that I should do better the next time I try and hook her up. Ok. Clearly I just won't try and hook her up ever again. Honestly, I wasn't thinking about her or her lonely self...it was a favor to Stalker, she was the one asking to be set up with someone. It rubbed me the wrong way for her to act like that. I'm sure I didn't save her life or do her any huge favor or anything, but her attitude was tinged with ungratefulness and I didn't appreciate it. Like I said, I'm not anybody's savior or anything and I didn't expect to be rewarded or applauded for passing her number along, but I definitely didn't expect to receive a message talking about "next!" I asked her what the problem was, why she decided that. I could understand if Stalker had said something disrespectful or done something out of bounds...but all College Buddy could come up with was, "she isn't my type and I'm not feelin her." Alright. She has the right to feel that way, but why did she get in bed with her?! Of course I didn't ask that and I'm sure she doesn't know that Stalker told me about it immediately after it happened. But again, it rubbed me the wrong way. From Stalker's point of view, the sex was off the chain and they hit it off. So why on Earth would you get up out of the bed with someone and then a mere 24 hours later decide that they weren't attractive? Obviously she was attractive enough. She was feelin her enough to hop in the sack with her. I guess I feel like she should have just kept it to herself, don't message me specifically to complain about the favor I did for you. Then today, I wake up and there's a message saying that she was wrong and she needs to give things a chance. I feel like there's obviously something not being said...if all it was the other day was that she isn't attracted to her, did she suddenly become attractive? Probably not...Whatever though, they'll each be fine. For some reason, it just really annoyed me.