Sunday, September 21, 2008

UnExpected Conversation

I don't even remember how it started, but I ended up talking to Shanee on AIM yesterday. And then later in the evening, I accidentally rolled over on top of my phone...and seeing as to how she's still the first person in my Fave 5 for T-Mobile, my phone accidentally called her up. She knew that it was an accident, but didn't seem to be against it...so we talked. It was niiiice. Nice to hear her voice, nice to be in contact with her, nice to know that she still loves me and cares for me even though I just dip out the minute things get too tense. We fell asleep on the phone just like old times.

In my heart, I love her so much and want nothing more than to be with her. In my head though, I think about everything that's wrong with our situation and can't let go of things that happened months ago. That's why we argued today...a huge surge of anger over things that happened a long time ago. It's like I can't handle a dose of good conversation because I'll instantly remember the fucked up things. She doesn't do me like that. If the roles were reversed, we wouldn't have made it past December for the shit that I did. I made a friend, knowing that the chick wanted more than a friendship. I began to talk to her all the time and spend time at her house. One night, I lied about my whereabouts and ended up gettin drunk and falling asleep at her house. Shanee didn't talk to me for about 5 hours, but she accepted my apology, believed me when I told her that nothing happened, and forgave me. Never once has she mentioned it again or used it as personal leverage in an argument. I will admit that I don't fight fair. I can't argue a current situation without pulling out some sort of reference from the past. I get so upset and so jealous about situations that still don't hold a candle to what I did in July, when I met somebody else and told Shanee that I found somebody else and wanted to see what it could be like. She never left my side, forgave me, and doesn't hold it against me. I sometimes wonder why she doesn't. But I can only be thankful that she doesn't. So why do I do that to her?? I feel like we've each done our share to tear our relationship apart and mess up the trust between us and we've still made it awfully far for having 600 miles between us. In my eyes, that stands for something. And the way I feel inside when I think about her or when I talked to her is undeniable. I love that girl.

I was just telling a friend yesterday that even though things have gone wrong between her and another person, if she genuinely feels deep down that she cares and wants to give it another shot, then that's what she should do. I told her that as a friend, I'm tired of watching her be hurt and upset and stressed out...but at the end of the day, she can't deny her own feelings. Until the light goes out on the inside and all hope is lost, she's always going to wonder what could have happened. Is she going to let the greatest love of her life pass her by because of some hurtful things that happened awhile back? It's really easy for me to tell other people that, but when it comes to my own heart and my own feelings, I'm so guarded. I need to take my own advice.

Yesterday over IM, Shanee accused me of being smooth, like how I used to be when I first met her. I don't really think that what I said was all that smooth, but she thought it was. I told her that when we get ready to actually be together again, I'm going to have to romance her and make her excited about being with me again, since I'm the one that keeps leaving. She told me that the idea is nice, but unnecessary because I've already got her. I don't need to break out the mack skills and try to woo her. It was good to know that she still thinks I'm smooth though, ha.

I feel like I should just go on ahead now and give up on the fairy tale ideal of love and relationships that I have in my head. Nobody is perfect and neither is any relationship. There's always going to be some situation that just drives me crazy, as I'm sure there is in all relationships.

So even though I'm still not ready to begin steady communication with her yet as we both are working on ourselves and healing from everything else that 2008 has had in store for us, I feel good about it now. I'm not sure when it will happen, but we'll be together again some day.

Friday, September 19, 2008

A Tough Day

Today has not been kool so far. I am still thoroughly confused about Shanee and my feelings for her and what I'm supposed to do next. I miss her a ton, but at the same time, I'm still full of anger, hurt, and resentment towards her. How do I miss somebody who's caused me so much pain?

It's crazy to me how random thoughts will just pop into my head and I will remember exactly how I felt at certain times in certain situations. I'm having a really hard time remembering the positive things today. All I can think about are the times during her last visit, over my birthday, where we would be in silence and me attempting to make conversation. She would be staring off into space, blank-faced. It happened maybe three or four times and each time made me extremely uncomfortable. I would ask what was on her mind, each time met with "nothing." Well, it's got to be something, otherwise she would have made more of an effort to keep conversation going when I made it perfectly clear that I was trying to talk. Whatever it was, her mind was a million miles away from the present situation. I've already accepted that when in front of my family and friends, she's going to fall into silence. That's just her. I don't love it, but what can I do about it? When I asked her about it, she even said it, "yeah, I won't say anything." I've brought her around most of my friends, separately and in groups, and it's the same result. She'll respond if spoken to, but that's it. She doesn't have a lot of friends, so on some levels, it doesn't surprise me. But she's got enough people in her life, aside from family, that love her and enjoy her presence in their life...so I know she can't act like that all the time in front of everybody. I don't know whether I should take it personally that she shuts down in front of my friends and family, and then suddenly has a personality again when we're back alone. I don't wanna say that it's embarrassing, but it's kind of embarrassing. I know that she isn't obligated to entertain the other people in my life, but it definitely makes me feel awkward. I've come to terms with the fact that that's how she conducts herself in group situations, at least with myself and my friends present...I don't know how she is when she's with other people. But what I really felt uncomfortable about was the moments in which it was just her and I and it was very plain to see that she wasn't interested in conversation. She didn't seem interested in very much at all while she was here, but some moments, she did a poor job of hiding it.

I feel crazy for randomly remembering that out of the blue today, and actually being upset by it. It is what it is, I guess. I took steps to try and take care of these problems, which is why we're broken up. But what am I supposed to do about these random surges of emotion that come out of nowhere? Am I supposed to call her up and curse her out just because I'm upset? Am I supposed to just swallow my feelings and try and forget about it? Do I complain to friends who are probably sick of the problems between her and I because they've been endless since 2008 started??

It just baffles me that somebody who was so perfect in the beginning could prove to be detrimental to my emotional well-being. I'm sure she feels the same way, I've made my mistakes too. It just kills me. And why have I been okay up until now...and then today, just fall flat on my face?? I know that these types of things are up and down, but I want to feel okay again in a hurry.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Sleeeepyyyyyy

I tried to be slick today. After my workout, as I was just about to leave the locker room and head to my car, this woman comes in and begins stripping down. She's got a TON of acne, but I can tell from the way her skirt is hugging her hips and booty and her breasts were filling out her top that she had a nice body underneath her outift. So...I pretended to forget something in my locker so that I could turn around and come back in for a second peek. She paid me no mind, just kept on getting changed into her workout clothes as if I wasn't in the room. I probably could have sat down and watched and I don't think she would have looked in my direction, haha. Something is wrong with me, I know.

My job situation is kind of crazy right now. I had my technical visit yesterday, which means that a technician comes out and looks at the cleanliness of the equipment and grades the staff on how well the maintenance procedures have been done over the last 6 months. We got an 84, like a B. We lost 15 points for some of the chemicals being out of control and we lost another point for having dust on the interior of most of our equipment. With my staffing issues, I'm only concerned with the actual procedures...I don't have time to be dusting and making sure every little smudge or mark gets wiped off. It doesn't have anything to do with functionality, it's just for keeping up appearances. The exterior is clean and that's all that should matter! But anyway, this morning, I finally had enough time (and the patience, the energy, and the right attitude) to fix the chemical control issue. It took about 2 hours and a lot of chemicals...but I got it done! I may not like the nature of my job all the time...playing mad scientist and doing chemistry don't exactly appeal to me, but I do enjoy a sense of accomplishment after I complete those types of tasks. I work hard mostly every day, but I do get a little satisfaction out of doing hard work from time to time. And yes, there's a difference between working hard and doing hard work. Anyway, later in the afternoon...Demetrius gets a roll of film jammed in there. Not only did it lead to unsatisfied customers, but it probably fucked the chemicals back up. When I left, there was still a part of it still jammed and if we can't get it taken apart ourselves, it's going to be an extremely expensive repair. I have no idea what Demetrius did or what exactly happened to make it do that, but I was beyond angry. I couldn't assign blame to Demetrius because I wasn't in the lab when it happened, but at the same time, neither myself nor any of the managers have ever seen that just spontaneously happen. If just yesterday, an actual technician said the machine was working just fine, it seems really unlikely that it would just do that today. Like I said, I don't know for fact that Demetrius made a mistake, but all evidence states that he did. He kept trying to say that he didn't do anything different, but I was seething so I couldn't say anything. Sometimes when I'm angry, I light into people. Other times when I'm angry, I fall silent. Mostly in situations where I could get into trouble if I said anything. It's just best I don't even open my mouth. Plus, my silence speaks for me. At times, saying nothing is more effective than a million words. I'll just see what tomorrow brings.

My mom is still in college, and she's been so busy with work, my brother, my dad, and helping me during my vehicle crisis that she has fallen behind. In exchange for all her help, I've agreed to help her (yeah right...do them myself) with her assignments. Well, I've been graduated for over a year now and my study skills are back at zero! I was struggling to read those chapters, like forreal. I'm off work on Friday and I plan to spend the majority of the day doing the actual assignments. I swear this is the last time I'm doing this. This is approximately the 4th or 5th time that I've done school work for someone in exchange for goods and/or services. It's not fun. I guess it's a valuable skill to have though since apparently I can use it to barter. People seem willing to pay a lot or do a lot for you if you take an assignement or two off their hands.

Maybe more tomorrow, but sleep time now!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

A Good Weekend

It's been a pretty decent weekend. I went to Terre Haute early on Friday morning to clean my old car out. I thought it was going to be a tough day because my mother and I have a tendency to argue about any and everything. My mother wanted me in Terre Haute at 9:30 in the morning. When she called me at 9:30 to find out that I was just leaving my apartment, she was not impressed. She wanted to have the car towed to her house and she wanted it cleaned out before we got it towed. She got all pissy and was like "I'm not calling the tow truck unless you're here and the car is being cleaned out." I tried to explain to her that there was no reason for me to be there when the tow truck came, I could just clean the car out at her house. She called me like 40 minutes later, still acting all urgent about it. I had to chill her out again by just telling her to call the tow truck and relax. She finally did that, but I ended up beating the tow truck there anyway and we got the car cleaned out before it got towed. She irritated me though because she sat at the mechanic's and looked at my car, then when I got there, she was like "okay, let's clean it out!" and then she proceeded to clean my car out QUICK. I didn't hardly do anything at all...she did almost all the work. So, she technically could have done it before I even got there. It was just plain to see that she hadn't been thinking. We got it all cleaned out and got the car towed back to her house.

She went to work and I just chilled in her house all day long. Read a book, played on the computer, played with myself, watched TV, ordered pizza, took naps. It was just a really nice day. It was incredibly lazy, but I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I really should have been in town at the license branch, getting my tags switched over to the new car. I'll do that this week though. When my mom got off work, her and my uncle and myself went to the movies to see the new Tyler Perry. Everybody was in agreement that it started out really slow as the plot thickened, it could have used more comedy or something else while the storyline was building...but once it got started, it was excellent. I really believe that Tyler Perry just keeps getting better and better. I thought "Why Did I Get Married" was excellent, but this was better in my eyes. After the movie, we went to BW3's for beer and appetizers. I can feel myself aging, or maybe I'm just on a schedule, but after the movie, I was absolutely exhausted. The beer definitely didn't help matters. My mom and uncle were happily chatting at 1a.m. and I was the youngest person at the table and barely able to keep up with conversation. I tried to explain to my mother that her and my dad can't be hurt and upset about my brother's girlfriend being pregnant. They say they're sad about it because that isn't the life they wanted for him. I had to give my mother the reminder that everything happens when it's supposed to do. God's timing is perfect, even if we're not feeling it. He's still in control so there's no reason to fret. He doesn't put anything on us that we can't bear. I also told her to try and take on the same attitude that she has towards other people. Anytime we learn of somebody's child unexpectedly getting pregnant or something like that, her general attitude has always been, "oh, it was an accident and a mistake and they're doing the best they can and they'll be alright." I know things are different when they your own child, but she agreed that she should begin now in thinking of this along the same lines. I am just sick of her acting like it's a tragedy. I wasn't there when she broke the news to my father, but from what she's said, he's just as pissed. I just feel that babies, however much of a financial strain they may bring, are a blessing and should be looked forward to, not dreaded. I personally feel that my brother drinks too much, is really irresponsible, is selfish, hangs out with the wrong people, and is struggling to complete college for all those reasons. Having a baby is going to force him out of all of that. I've even seen improvements in him after getting this girlfriend. It seems that when he's got somebody really close to him that he cares about, he tends to shape up and act better. I know that he is not the type of person that would ever neglect his child. I believe the preparation for and birth of his first child will whip him into shape really quickly. I've watched an awful lot of my friends and other people I know go through that. They're wild, livin fast, and still good people with good character, just headin down the wrong path. The presence of a child turns it all around. I'm pretty confident that that's going to be the case for my brother as well.

I got up Saturday morning and drove back to the city. I did my personal grooming routine, hopped in the shower, then headed to work. Work started out somewhat stressful because I was trying to fix the mistakes that my new people made the day before, in addition to opening the lab late. I had already received a voicemail from the general manager asking me to come early because there wasn't an opener. I decided that I wasn't going. I was way more interested in my extended shower, even though it came at a price because if I would have went early, I could have avoided half the problems that came from opening the lab up at 1pm on a Saturday when the customers are used to it being open at 9. Oh well though, like I told Lindsey, I am through bending over backward, throwing my back out, and working myself into the ground for Sam's Club. I will not be doing that anymore unless I see personal gain in it. Of course, extra hours on my paycheck are personal gain...but at that moment, leisure time in the bathroom/shower were more important. After about 2pm though, everything was smooth-sailing, just another boring shift. When I got off work, Lindsey and I went to see "the Women." I never noticed before that Meg Ryan's hair is incredibly thick. Like, uncomfortably thick. I don't know if I've ever blogged about this before, but I have sexual fantasies involving Eva Mendes. I dream about her approximately once a week. So to see her in lingerie, plus Jada Pinkett lookin all sexy with all her clothes on...I was in heaven. The movie itself really wasn't all that though, I was way more impressed with Tyler Perry.

Today, I woke up and met up with some friends to watch the Colts game. It was a tense game, but they came out on top. Barely though. By the skin of their teeth. A win is a win though! It was great to see Holly and Kirsten though. Haven't hung out with them in forever. It was a breath of fresh air...I have a tendency to hang out with all the same people repeatedly, week after week. So, it was nice to talk about new things, have new conversation.

Hopefully, the week ahead will be drama free!!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Doin Grown Thangs!

I bought my first car yesterday. It's actually the 4th car that I've had in my possession. But this is the first car that I got in my own name and I'll be paying the note myself. There's a definite feeling of satisfaction that comes with that. It's a 2001 Chevy Prizm. It's tiny. Like, uncomfortably tiny. I probably look ridiculous in it. I feel ridiculous in it. Like I'm playing in a child's toy. But it's excellent on gas mileage, I can afford it, and I did notice a benefit today of its small size...I can park it anywhere! It runs really good, the engine is really clean, it's a pretty smooth ride for a 7 year old car, I've probably got another 2 years before the tires wear out, and it has a CD player. Even though I'm not in love with the car, I feel like I made a good decision. Both of my parents told me that if I wasn't happy, they would help with payments on a bigger, better car. But I wanted to make the payments on my own without their help. I'm 25 now, they technically shouldn't still be buying me anything. Plus, I could have picked out a bigger car, but paid more in gas.

I had to let go of Shanee completely. I declared that we don't text or anything, no contact. It's what's best for me. Texting and still being in contact with her was just a constant reminder of things not being right between us. I feel like that was a good decision to make, but I'm more proud of myself for how I'm handling things now that I've done it. The last time we broke up, I acted wiiiild. I'm not doing that this time. I'm not out drowning my sorrows in beer and having as much as sex as possible. It doesn't even sound appealing to me. I'm just watching shows online and reading and listening to music. I feel like I'm being responsible. No reason to be wreckless with other people's feelings just because my relationship didn't work out. It got messy the last time, I brought out the worst in a few people and I'd like to avoid that in the future. So, I'll just be enjoying my own company. No rebounding. No messing around just because I can. No engaging people in late-night conversation just to ease my own loneliness. If I can't affirm for myself that I'm a good catch and anybody would be lucky to have me, then nobody can. Finally, at 25 years old, I can see that and see that to search for that is crazy. I didn't know that at 24! I felt that I was somehow feeling better by entertaining other women. It was just something to do. I can see now that there's nothing to gain from that behavior. I realize that I'm content to be alone, chill to myself, and relax. I used to fear the pain that would come from being lonely, or allowing myself to be bored and let my mind wander to Shanee and how things went wrong. That's why I kept myself thoroughly entertained and in the company of someone who wanted me...didn't even let myself get down about it. I guess I've learned to cope...I'm here alone and chillin and if my mind wanders to her and I get sad for a minute, then I'm sad for a minute and I'll be kool again in a few minutes. That Leona Lewis "better in time" song means a lot to me right now.

Chann walked out today at work. My manager asked him to clean the floor with a toothbrush and he wasn't havin it, so he rolled out. As prison-like as that sounds right off top, he just wanted him to do down in the corners and in the nooks and crannies, places a broom and mop can't get. The specific corners that he was asked to clean, they weren't even really anything that could be wiped out with a towel or anything really...it was black dirt that had adhered to the floor and wall. Maybe a scotch-brite or a brillo pad would have been more acceptable. Or maybe a small brush that was actually meant to scrub dirt. There is something about cleaning with a toothbrush that just makes people feel belittled and disrespected. I personally use old toothbrushes to clean and feel that they're pretty effective tools for cleaning small parts and areas, like corners. True, I've never been asked at work to get on my hands and knees and scrub corners with a toothbrush, so I might be heated about it too. But him walking out has left me with another hole in my schedule. More 10-hour days are in my near future, starting tomorrow. On top of that, the older woman isn't working out. She tried to be slick and went and changed her availability last week so it's causing scheduling problems, plus she's just not learning. She's making major mistakes and is extremely forgetful. I'm really glad I didn't go into teaching because I wouldn't be able to keep a job...I get pissed when I have to tell the same person the same thing 3 and 4 times. Just no patience for that. My general way of training is I'll tell you once, I'll show you once, and I'll answer any remaining questions....but after that, I kind of expect them to get it. Most people get it like that...I don't have to walk them through anything step by step any more than twice, tops. But this woman just isn't catching on. She's ruining customer orders, jamming the equipment, giving out the wrong information, getting on everybody's last nerve, and just generally fucking things up. Looks like I'll have two positions open again within the next week or so. Blah.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

So Emotional...

I miss Shanee. No denying it. I miss her being here and I miss her voice on the telephone. I called her the other night and we talked for like 7 minutes. It was somewhat awkward. I'm not really sure why, but it just seemed strange. I think it's best that I've put this distance between us because I just don't trust her. My faith and trust in her is just 100% obliterated and it makes me crazy. Like, super paranoid. Things seemed strange on the phone, to the point that I asked her twice if she was alone. That's bad. Then, tonight, another instance of me being made crazy by this...she told me goodnight by text message at like 12:55 and had actually put her away message up on AIM to go to bed at like 12:30. But at 1:25, she'd only been idle for like 10 minutes. It's not that I'm trying to clock her, but sometimes these funny feelings just wash over me and I can't help but notice that things just don't add up. Of course about 10 different thoughts flew through my mind, none of which make me seem sane. Maybe I'm the one with the problem...paranoid, insecure, stalkerish. In my defense though, I did not get like this until she proved to me that I need to keep my good eye on her. I'm finally seeing that it's not worth living like this though...disturbia is not fun. This isn't the kind of life I want and I definitely deserve better than this. Us not talking doesn't seem to really have eased my mind much. I told her that we could still be kool, but I might have to reneg on that. It still just really hurts, everything that's gone on. I did some things wrong too, so I can't just act like I'm the victim. I just honestly feel that I haven't created any situations that we're still feeling the effects of or situations that are never-ending. I've never been so confused and conflicted in my life. It's just a tough situation. I feel like it's a step in the right direction to have cut it off. Completely letting go is the issue...it's the part that I haven't ever been able to do. With us still texting all day, being friends, and sharing all the small details of life, it's hard to view her as anyone other than my girlfriend, especially since that's what she's been pretty much the whole time I've known her. I don't know how to just be friends with her. When I think about everything that's gone on and all the shit that has taken place, I kind of wonder if I even want her friendship because she's done some things and acted in plenty of ways that are not acceptable as even a friend. It makes me wonder if my self-esteem is low or if I don't value myself enough...why can't I just let it go and move on? Why do I keep setting myself up for disappointment? That's pretty much all I've gotten out of the situation since January...repeating disappointment, typically over the same things. It's just exhausting but somehow or another, I apparently don't mind it because I keep on taking it.

My mom found a possible car for me today. Hopefully I'll get approved for it...we'll see tomorrow. That whole situation and what it's about to do to my finances is stressful.

I'm going to be an auntie!! I am soo thrilled! My brother and his girlfriend definitely have some tough times ahead of them, but babies are a joy. My mom is a lil sad for him...he's about to struggle financially and has to rearrange his whole life...no more camping and canoeing and other recreational trips on a whim like he's used to doing now. He can't just decide on Wednesday to spend the weekend at the lake anymore...he's gotta plan that shit in advance now. My dad doesn't know yet, we'll see how he feels after he finds out tomorrow. I think that he'll be upset at first. But I know that once they actually lay eyes on the baby, they'll be absolutely thrilled. Plus, my brother is excellent with children...all the kids he's coached and all the summers he's spent as a camp counselor, my mother and I were remarking that he'll be a great father. Most importantly, my brother and his girlfriend are ecstatic about the news!

Friday, September 5, 2008

Cars & Football

After trying relentlessly to contact my father for the past two days, he finally got back in touch with me today with the diagnosis of my car from the mechanic. My engine is bad. So bad it's not worth fixing. I'm in a bit of a panic because I'm not looking forward to making a car payment each month and having to go through the hassle of getting a new car.

I am really glad that the NFL season officially started today though. The Redskins tried. They gave it to Eli Manning a few times, but couldn't really complete many passes. It was somewhat sad. I can't wait for the Colts on Sunday!

I feel like most emotion has been drained. I guess "blah" would describe my general mood. I guess I'm just tired. Of everything. My job, my employees, now my car, being sick, this whole situation with Shanee, not knowing what's going to happen on any level. This really is a true moment of doing what I can and just trusting God for the rest.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Appropriate Name Change & A Brief Update

I had to change the title and description of my blog because blogging everyday proved to be too much. After Shanee coming out here for 6 days, my birthday celebrations, my car breaking down, being sick, plus going back to work...sitting down to write a blog was just the last thing on my mind. I've been living life, not taking time out to write about it. It was a good idea when I had it, but blogging every single day is kind of a tough thing to hold myself to.

My birthday was excellent. Minus the fact that I'm 25 now and feeling somewhat old, it was my first chance to sleep late in weeks. It wasn't even that late, but I woke up on my own time, not because I was obligated to be somewhere. Shanee and I went to the license branch and I got my license renewed. My new picture is ugly. We went to Cracker Barrel and had brunch. Then we went to the movies to see The House Bunny. That movie was hilarious. I was cracking up the entire time. I was the only one in the whole damn theater laughing (there was only 3 of us, which made my laughter even more silly)...but I didn't care. I enjoyed it. Shanee said the only reason she was glad to be there was because she was by my side...she didn't appreciate the movie not one bit. There was one other person in the theater as well and she didn't laugh either. I think I actually heard her groan and sigh a couple of times, she was probably thinking to herself "I paid for this shit, so I'm staying, but this sucks." After the movie, we came back to my place and "hung out," then went to Ginza Japanese Steakhouse to have dinner with a group of my friends. It was fun, plus good food. After that, we all went back to Tanner's house for drinks and Wii Sports. Shanee had never played the Wii before, but somehow kicked everybody's ass.

As part of my birthday present, Shanee got me sweet-ass Colts tickets. It was a lot of fun. The game sucked, but I enjoyed myself.

Friday, we went to Terre Haute to celebrate my birthday with my parents. On the way there, my car began to smoke terribly. We had to get it towed the rest of the way and we had to ride in the tow truck with this old man with like 3 teeth and his speech was horrible and he went 55 mph the entire way. It was horrible, but we made it. We went to dinner with my family and had a good time, then my brother took us to a bar. That was fun as well. I got to meet my brother's girlfriend. She's really sweet. It's adorable the way she looks at my brother, just in awe of him. The next day, my dad got me a rental car and we came back to the city.

Shanee had to leave Sunday, but before she did, we had a serious conversation. Things are still so up in the air and hard to deal with right now. I've decided to put some distance between us for the time being. She wanted to back up to friends, but I took it a step further and said we aren't talking for awhile. I'd rather not say bad things about her in such a public place, but there are several things that absolutely have to change if we are ever going to have a healthy, positive, happy relationship again. We'll see how it goes.

I'm sick. It started, as it always does, with a tickle in my throat. Then it got uncomfortable. Then in the middle of the night, it got painful as hell. The next morning, the nasal congestion kicked in. It's in my lungs now. I got a neti pot and that thing works wonders! I'm officially a believer in it! However, I'm having some slight trouble breathing because of the chest congestion, but I'm not feeling as terrible as I was earlier and yesterday. We'll see how tomorrow goes.