Monday, August 18, 2008

Stress!

Today proved to be another stressful-ass day. From the moment I woke up, it was on.

I rolled over when my alarm went off and grabbed my cell phone, expecting to have my usual alert from The Weather Channel letting me know the day's forecast. Well, I had a message that my Booger (Ty) had been in an accident and was in critical condition. There was no other information available to me at that time...I didn't know if he was on a respirator, in a coma, shattered body parts...I had no clue what kind of critical condition we were dealing with. I was immediately sick. I was terribly upset. I spent a long time in prayer. So many things crossed my mind...his ex, his ex-best friend, the fact that we had JUST got our friendship back right a couple weeks ago. I managed to get myself together and despite burning my breakfast and having to stop at McDonald's on my way to work, I got there.

I sat in the car for awhile, talking to Shanee before I went inside. I was sharing some of my feelings with her about how I worry about our relationship and I have a lot of anxiety about it because of how much anger, hurt, and disappointment I've already been through with her and I got so upset about it that I began to cry. Then, in the middle of crying about it, a thought came to me...."Baby? What if the one person that I would talk to about this never wakes up??" and it was really over for me at that point. I cried like a child...snot everywhere, loud painful sobs, couldn't breathe. Shanee, as usual, is wonderful about consoling me and she did just that and I managed to go ahead and go inside and get clocked in. I made it through the day, even though it was rigorous and hectic at times, being by myself and all. I interviewed a 61-year-old woman today and I'm totally going to offer her a job on Wednesday. She's another photographer that wants part-time work. She said that her husband makes the money and takes care of everything, she just needs an additional hobby and said that she doesn't even want 30 hours, more like 20 works for her. Then she said, "i like to work until about 8:30 or 9." Well, it doesn't get any more perfect than that! She's not going to be digging for hours and she doesn't mind closing! (I kinda wonder if she's happy with her husband....don't most priveleged white women like to be home in the evenings to tend to their money-making husbands??!!) She said that I may have to show her how to use the computer 2 or 3 times, but she'd get it. She was a really nice lady. Plus, I think it would be a positive thing to have some age in the lab. Me, two dudes, plus an older woman....I see nothing but great things to come. She doesn't seem to be into drama, not in the slightest. Her demeanor seemed to be really sweet and calm. I need sweet and calm in my life, especially up in Sam's Club! I do still have one interview to conduct tomorrow, but I'm almost sure that I'm going to pick the older woman, her name is Shirley. Between her and Chann, I just hope they both can go do a drug test and be ready for orientation on Friday.

I was supposed to get off work at 7, but the manager on duty asked me to stay until 8:30 because the other manager left him high and dry with no closers. So, I stayed because I don't mind overtime. Plus, they can pay me as a supervisor and have me greet people at the entrance all night...no complaints here! I did get word that Booger's okay, doing way better than I originally thought, but the situation is still not that great because he lost a few fingers. I am sad for him for that, I can't even begin to imagine what's on his mind. I am just glad he still has his life though!

With how stressful things have been lately, sometimes it's easy to forget about the positive things going on. It's a lil harder to see that life is beautiful and there really isn't any reason to fret. God can only do great things. It's times like these where I have to really dig deep to remind myself that ALL things come together for the good. In 2006, there was a national news story about a case of mistaken identity and two young girls, Laura Van Ryn and Whitney Cerak were involved in a horrible van accident and Whitney was mistaken for dead, while she really laid in a hospital bed in a coma while Laura's family took care of her, now knowing that their daughter had actually died. The two families have written a book and it's very touching and I let Lindsey read it...and she wants to be a Christian now!! Definitely good news!

Another small tidbit of joy: the Hills is back on! For some strange reason, I enjoy watching priveleged white people go about their lives and the drama they encounter. I watched it with Lindsey, and she's a good friend to have, but sometimes I really get my fill of her. We're both strongly opinionated and headstrong individuals, so sometimes she's not my favorite person to be around. It's probably just my perception of things, but sometimes I really feel like she just disagrees with me just to be in disagreement. If I say something, it seems like she just purposely says the opposite. If I say the sky is blue, she would say it's black, just to say something else or try to prove a point. And she has a way of taking a tone that something is final, that I'd better not say anything else. I find it easier to just let her have the last word, even though I don't agree or think she's right, she's not going to shut up and listen to anybody else, so just let her have her way. She doesn't seem to understand the concept of letting anyone vent either. Sometimes, as a friend, it doesn't matter if someone is right or wrong, just let them vent. You don't always have to point out the areas in which they're wrong. If I am complaining about a manager at work, she doesn't always have to point out that they're actually right and I don't have any real choice in the matter...if it's something serious, what's wrong with letting me get it out, then bring it up later when I'm in a better mood to let me know that I'm wrong? I grow extremely sick of it most of the time. I have definitely stopped hanging out with her as much as I used to and I have shortened the time I spend with her. We went and ate Mexican and were only at the restaurant for about 35 minutes, then we went and watched the show and I left as soon as it was over. I was only with her about an hour. And she got on my nerves. I always say that I'm going to take a break from her, but she's one of the few friends I've got that is convenient. She doesn't live far, she doesn't mind driving to go somewhere that's not right around the corner, she's not broke all the time, socially we do agree on a lot of things because our upbringings were almost identical, and she understands being big.

It's almost time for sleep!

1 comment:

Adrian said...

We both had some stressful weeks BUT we got through it. Thank god that Ty turned out ok