Friday, July 17, 2009

a boring friday..

I just got home from seeing Bruno. 

That movie was partly hilarious. Mostly just offensive as hell. Some parts, I would have died laughing had I been watching it at home...but some of the things just weren't appropriate to be laughing at in public. Like treating Mexicans like furniture...

I think I ate too much popcorn. I'm officially nauseous.

I'm also extremely bored. It's one of those nights where there is nothing to do. I'm not really in the mood for a straight club. The black gay club is really only good on Thursdays and Saturdays. I went to a house party Wednesday night and it was a blast...I'm in the mood for something similar. I'd settle for going out, but nobody is doing anything. I used to go to the club by myself all the time with no problem, but that just doesn't seem like something I wanna do tonight. I done flipped through my cell phone from A to Z about twice and ain't nobody talkin about shit. It always happens this way...if I was feeling tired or content to be at home, there would be all sorts of shit going on. But on the one night that I'm really pressed about not being inside alone, there is absolutely nothing to do. 

The past couple days, I've been pretty serious about thinking honestly about what it is that I wanna do with my life and career. It's time to put something in motion. Get on the ball. I've wasted enough time. I've relaxed, I've enjoyed myself. It's time to rejoin the productive members of society. I don't want to just collect a paycheck anymore. I need to do something that requires a lil brain power...

I'm thinkin a Master's degree in community counseling with a Mental Health concentration would set me on the right path. I'm not interested in administration, research (i actually hate research), or education so a PhD isn't necessary. Plus, I can always get it at a later date. Right now, I just want to get licensed and practice. So I'm gathering materials from schools in Chicago and in the DC/Maryland area. Shanee is in the interview process for a pretty decent job out in that would be kool to go to skool out there. And I fell back in love with Chicago over 4th of July weekend, so that's why I am looking there. Shanee loved Chicago too, we could each see ourselves living there, and it's close to my family. But on the other hand, I've really enjoyed DC each time I've been and Shanee loves it too. So I think we'd be content either place. All I know is that whatever we decide to do, there must be something in it that is for me. A few months ago, a close friend of mine pretty much set her whole life aside, quit a really decent job, and moved away from all her family and friends in order to pursue a relationship. She isn't very happy anymore and is just waiting it out to see if it gets any better. I feel really bad for her. I admired what she did...really romantic to just take that kind of chance on love. But it has made me very certain that I cannot do that. If I move anywhere, I will be attending school and living separate from Shanee. We have to see if our relationship can exist normally. With us just living in the same city and seeing one another throughout the week, like normal couples. I can't go from only seeing her once every couple months to living with her. I feel like we might kill each other. We need to live in the same city for awhile first. If I see her 3 or 4 times a week for a year and we still like each other, then I'd be comfortable taking that next step of getting a place together. She agrees. Even though it's cheaper to just live together, we both know that the money saved wouldn't be worth testin our relationship like that. 

I haven't been home in 3 weeks and my mom made me really homesick today. She was telling me all about Damien and how he can completely hold his head up now and how he's super smiley and laughs a lot. She said that he's growing and changing really fast. Said that he's basically a whole different baby than when I last saw him. You can actually bounce him and play with him now. She babysat the other day and was reading books to him and he actually looks at the pictures and talks back. She said he started looking at her crazy when she tried to read a book written in Spanish. His mom speaks Spanish and French fluently, so she talks to him and reads to him in all three languages....and my mom is just so impressed that he can actually tell at 2 months that it isn't being done correctly. She has studied just as much child development as I have, so she should know that babies are masters at language acquisition. For that reason, I suggested that she not try and read any more Spanish to him...let's avoid him acquiring it dead wrong!

Everything turned out in my favor at work. We didn't even get the visit from any of the big wigs from corporate office. And I was out of hours by 1pm on Wednesday. So I didn't work Thursday, I didn't work Friday, and I don't have to go back until Monday. I should start scheduling myself like that on purpose...this little mini vacation has been awesome. I think I sleep so much better at night when I can drift off to sleep knowing that I have absolutely no obligations the next morning. When I wake up is when I wake up. 

On Friday mornings, I've started goin to this workout class called Boot Camp. It's pure torture. A good-ass workout though. My trainer is the instructor for it and she encouraged me to come, so I started going. Today, she was filming us as she put us through the courses...first time I've ever made it a point to smile as I run sprints lol. 

Nothin else is really going on...and I'm beginning to feel a bit sleepy. I guess I should just go to sleep. Idle hands and an idle mind on a lonesome Friday night have the potential to be very troublesome...

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