Friday, July 24, 2009

make your nipples jump

I noticed something today. Well, it's safe to say that I've been becoming more and more aware of it, but this evening, it really showed. I only have about 5 friends. And I mean friends. Friends that I can talk to about whatever. Friends that I can truly be myself around. Friends that I can speak my mind to and they still like me. Friends that don't work the hell out of my nerves. Friends that have similar values and beliefs as me. Friends that have equal amounts of money or more (call me shallow if you will, but this makes a difference in a friendship...I'm not ballin by any means and I don't present myself to be some sort of high roller or big spender....but it annoys the hell out of me when people consistently don't have enough money to go see a movie or grab appetizers or even just go to starbucks.) I've got a phone full of numbers to acquaintances that get on my nerves, I already know they don't have any money to go out, or just for some reason or another I'm opposed to inviting them somewhere (they wouldn't enjoy the activity or atmosphere, I'm shitty about something they've said or done recently, they're working..). Anyhow, it leaves me with slim-pickings when I want to do social activities. And this evening, one of my closest friends made a real shitty move...we were leaving work and were talking about doing something. I told her I had to work out first, and we agreed for me to hit her up when I left the gym. I got home and as I was changing clothes, I remembered that there was going to be a black comedian at the comedy club tonight and so I asked her if she wanted to go. Her response was, "I just made plans wit courtney." Oh. Not "me and courtney are gonna grab dinner, join us when you're done." Nothing like that. She basically shit in my face. We agreed to hang out...no definite plans or anything, very loose....but in agreement nontheless. And then not even 30 minutes later, she made plans with somebody else...and didn't invite me. I texted back "oh okay...so nevermind about hittin you up when i'm done working out?" She was like "we'll be at dinner at the time the comedy show starts, and I didn't plan to do anything until later." OKay. So I texted to ask her what she wanted to do and she didn't respond. I'm wondering if she isn't mad or turned off by what I said earlier. I told her that what she wants in a mate is very hard to come by. She wants a black man who makes a lot of money who is going to let her not work and stay home with kids, she wants to have a big house and drive nice cars and take nice trips, and of course she expects him not to lie, sneak, creep, or do any of the other bullshit that people do in relationships. I told her it's damn near impossible. She got mad, said she has faith, and told me she's surprised that I would say that. One of our coworkers chimed in and said that statistically speaking, it's really not going to happen. She was all in a huff, saying she can't believe that I would say that. I told her "you're so quick to quote statistics for everything else, why don't you believe this one?" She was not happy. I wasn't trying to dash her hopes and dreams, but in the past week alone, she has stated 4 times that she's going to marry rich and not have to worry about anything ever again. So I decided that today, I wasn't going to listen to that bullshit anymore. Anyhow, once she nullified our plans, I went ahead and asked my other 4 friends and they were out of town, had class, needed to go to bed super early because they work super early, and wouldn't be off work in time. I love my 5 friends, but I obviously need to expand my circle...

Anyhow, all my time spent at the gym is paying off. I work out about 10 hours a week and I'm beginning to reap the benefits. In addition to dropping pounds, my muscles are really developing. My pecs are strong enough to make my breasts bounce when I flex! I used to think it was soooo kool when my dad would do it when I was young. Anytime I saw him with no shirt on, which was almost daily, I would ask him to "make his nipples jump." Of course, he never said no. I'm so pumped that I can do it too now! Though I'm loving my muscles, my knees are taking a beating. I'm still too heavy to truly be running. The treadmill is fucking me up. I get to a quarter of a mile and feel like my shins are about to separate from my knees. And my knees have been locking up anytime they're stuck in one position, like if I squat down for any length of time. Obviously, I should just stick to the elliptical until I'm much lighter and my knees won't have to take such a hit when I run. But I want to push myself to fight through the discomfort and actually reach a mile. Then start doing it faster...

More tomorrow...


2 comments:

Trisha's Daughter said...

Friends/associates who never have money to do ANYTHING sickens me...If that makes me shallow, then so be it. As a working adult, there has to be a time when you have at least $10 that you can blow. I'm so happy to hear you say it...now I know I'm not the only one.

Anonymous said...

I can be your friend if you need one ;)