I can't dance. I've never been able to. I'm not ashamed to admit it and I'll tell anyone. I fake it as much as I can and no one stares or laughs...so I'm convinced that I fake successfully. But it's not natural and it's not enjoyable. It's work...I am concentrating. This is why you will not find me on anyone's dance floor unless I've been dragged and shoved simultaneously by two people.
Anyhow, when people ask me if I like to dance and I say no, they of course ask why. I explain that I can't. Somehow or another, this triggers something in their minds that makes them want to find out for themselves. And a lot of women (cruel ass women) get a thrill out of "workin' me out" and showing me up. What they do is they wait until I've got the beat and everything is going right, then they wanna suddenly start twerkin and shakin like triple time, there's a leg in the air, their ass is down by my knees. All their friends are huddled around us in a circle yellin for her to "give it to her" and "take that shit erika!" As for me...I'm not taking anything. I can barely keep up. When one girl has exhausted herself, it's only a matter of a few minutes before one of her friends, or a complete stranger from across the room, decides that it's her turn. And I swear that they all try to out-do one another. Actually, I'm not sure if they are trying to shake it harder and faster than the girl before them or to make me look (and feel) even more foolish...I suppose it probably has a dual purpose. And for some reason, it's even worse when I'm standing up against a wall or sitting down. They seem to really love it then. Tonight for instance, I was at a house party and there was a girl there without her girlfriend and she was actin wild. I wasn't paying her much attention, I was just trying to avoid being danced upon. I was making superficial conversation with an acquaintance and trying not to text Shanee all crazy (I wanted to let her enjoy her friends and have a night out without being in her inbox ridiculously) when I felt somebody suddenly stand right next to me. I looked over, saw it was her, and took a step away to break the contact. (I swear I wasn't rude about it!) She didn't move closer, but when the next song came on, she jumped in front of me with so much quickness, it almost kind of scared me. The boy I was talking to, his eyes got big too. As soon as she did that, I knew exactly why she had came to stand next to me. She was basically "in line" to be next. No one has ever been that blatant about it before.
I don't know if this phenomenon is a blessing or a curse. Sometimes it's funny and sometimes it's embarrassing. There have been times when I was in a certain state of mind and I used it to my advantage. But most of the time, when I'm out, I'm just having a few drinks and enjoying my friends...I'm not really there to "participate." It seems like my freedom of choice gets taken from me though. I know that I cannot be the only other person that this happens to...it probably happens to everyone, they just don't think twice or blog about it. I, on the other hand, HATE IT!
- ▼ 2009 (85)