Monday, January 26, 2009

Puzzle Pieces

I woke up yesterday and even though I'd gotten a full night's rest, I was just exhausted. Sometimes, just the thought of a long, full day is enough to exhaust me. I wake up tired just thinking of all the stuff I have to do. Anyway, when I woke up, I was facing 9 hours of work, then a company winter party, then driving home to Terre Haute. For some reason, it just seemed like a lot. And it proved to be so. Work was long, boring, and tiring. Then we had the company party. It was kool. I won a camcorder, a trucker hat, and a bath set. It was a decent time though. My coworkers are hilarious at times. I hit the road when it was over to come to Terre Haute for my mother's birthday.

I got into town last night at around 10:30. Sat and chilled with my parents. I went to bed kind of early.

Woke up this morning and just watched tv and chilled. Washed some clothes. Then we went to my mother's salon and I got a haircut. I felt kind of bad that I made my mother work on her birthday, but not bad enough to skip a haircut lol. After I got my haircut, we went to my brother's house to pick up the sofa he's giving me for my new place. Once it was loaded into the back of the truck, we went to an authentic Chinese restaurant. I had real General Tso's for the first time. It was wonderful. My mom was annoying because she got on my brother and I for not trying something else. Saying that she didn't raise us to be close-minded and non-experimental and whatnot. "You guys can get general tso's anywhere, why would you get it here when you have a chance to actually get good Chinese food?" I didn't have the heart to tell her that I'm not really a huge fan of Chinese anyway. Something about the way it's cooked, the sauces used, and the seasoning...I'm just not impressed. I'll eat it, but I never crave it on my own or suggest it. I typically eat it out of compliance with someone else's wishes. Given all this, I was going to stick with what I know. I wasn't in the mood to try a pu pu platter gang pang chicken. Just didn't sound appealing. I was kind of irritated that she equated that with not being open minded. And the thing that made it especially bad was that I had stated three times before we even went that I wasn't really feelin Chinese.

I elected to give my mom the bath set I won last night as a gift for her birthday. I don't use bath sets and she loves things like that. Perfect gift, it was easy and free to obtain, and she loved it. The one thing I hate about coming home is that I don't get to talk to Shanee as much. My parents are firm believers that to text in the company of others is rude. They think it's horrible for me to sit with them but obviously be engaged in conversation with someone who isn't present. And in addition to that, with my father refusing to go to bed, he's always present. I can't get any privacy until I'm laying in bed behind a closed door. I don't know if it's because I'm home or the fact that I'm not going to be happy with our amount of communication until we live together and I see her everyday. I miss her more and more each day. It's so unfortunate.

I had a pretty good conversation with a friend the other day. About gayness and straightness. She began dating a girl in high skool, then dated a boy in college, and has dated 2 girls seriously since then. Just a couple months ago, she was very set on being a lesbian and wouldn't hear of messing around with a boy. But then she tells me yesterday that if her relationship ends, she's going to "be straight" again. She said she feels that men have better personalities and she is tired of dealing with other women's emotions in addition to her own. I honestly feel that those things are separate from gender and sexuality. I know many more men with shitty personalities and unattractive characteristics than women. I also know plenty of women who are not emotional at all, stone cold. I think she just hasn't met the right woman yet. She said she will always be physically attracted to women, but if she's in love with a man, it won't matter. I was happy to hear that she intends to be faithful. She also said that there won't be any switching back and forth. I told her that she doesn't have to put one label on herself and that be it. She's allowed to change her mind, to have dual attractions. There does exist a phenomenon known as bisexuality lol. She also said something else that stuck with me. She said she has yet to meet anyone that was a perfect match for her. She feels the closest thing she's ever had to a soul mate was the boy she was with in college. She said that her and the girls were more like puzzle pieces...they fit together, but they were total opposites. I kind of liked that description. I believe Shanee and I are puzzle pieces. We're pretty much opposites on a lot of levels, but it's good. We fit together like puzzle pieces. We come together for a nice picture...the sum of our parts is great and makes perfect sense. But my friend isn't content like that. She wants it all. She wants her perfect match on every level. She is extremely smart and wants some equally smart. She is arrogant and wants someone just like that as well. She can be an asshole at times and she wants somebody who's also like that. It's well within her right to desire what she wants, but I wonder if it's worthwhile to really think she's going to meet someone exactly like her. All in all, it was an interesting conversation and I'm glad we had it.


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