1. I strip as soon as I get in the door. Not all the way nekkid, but shoes, socks, pants, and shirt definitely come off. I'm most comfortable in boxers and a beater and that's how I like to be. I just don't like clothing. So, as soon as I get inside, I take my outfit off. It amazes my girlfriend...especially the first time we ever met. We will walk inside and within 45 seconds, I'm in my draws. I don't even like to stay out late because after awhile, I start feeling like I want to take my clothes off....when I'm out, that urge to yank my clothes off is my signal that it's time to go home. And this stripping as soon as the door is shut behind me does not just apply at night....each and every time I get inside, it's clothes off. Yes, I technically "get dressed" sometimes 5 or 6 times a day.
2. I have triple D breasts, but still get mistaken for a man at least once a week. This doesn't concern me in terms of gender. That's okay. Call me a man all day. Shanee calls me "boy" when I'm in trouble, lol and we've had quite a few discussions about gender because she says I'm a man with breasts and a period. I don't get bent out of shape when people in stores say "sir" or the white boy at my local Starbucks calls me "bro." The way I see it, it's just words and they aren't said in a disrespectful way. So who cares? The thing about being mistaken for a man is the fact that I obviously just look like a fat man. And it's not the man part that bothers me. It's the fat part. I've reached a point where I'm so overweight that my breasts just look like really large man tits. And I wear an appropriately sized bra that has been correctly measured and fitted and I steer clear of the cheap ones from wal-mart. So even with all the support in the world, they still resemble oversized man tits. How sad.
3. I dry heave almost every day. Sometimes more. My stomach is just weak. Certain smells and sights just make me want to vomit.
4. I'm extremely sentimental, sensitive, and emotional. I wear my heart and my feelings just on the inside of my sleeve...it's still easy to hurt 'em, but I try my best to keep it concealed.
5. I'm embarrassed that I don't know much about black history. And ashamed that I don't care enough to educate myself.
6. I'm right-handed. Except for masturbation. Can't nobody do me like my left hand.
7. I'm not certain that there's 25 things about me that are random enough to list....
8. I am just like my father. Look just like him and act just like him. Shanee has asked me before if she reminds me of my mother. On a lot of levels, yes, she does. I look back over my parents' life and am absolutely scared to death of doing a repeat. Some things are within my control...and some things just aren't. I will do whatever I can to not be my father. I don't think I've actually voiced this concern to Shanee before, but I'm sure she'll understand when she reads it.
9. I'm unforgiving. Cross me once and we're typically not ever the same again. I'm not sure why I'm such a harsh critic of others, but I just am. I think it's one of the most unattractive things about myself. I'm probably missing out by writing people off, but I feel I'm also missing out on other relationships that I could have been fostering if I wasn't hanging on to people who have already proved to be capable of hurting me.
10. Farting doesn't bother me. I'm quite gassy myself. But burps turn me 100% off. There is nothing more unattractive than a pretty young lady who belches.
11. Honesty, integrity, and doing what's right are important to me. I may not always initially do the right thing, but it eats me alive until I confess, apologize, seek forgiveness, and then totally rectify the situation and vow to never repeat it. I don't have a problem admitting when I'm wrong. I'm not too prideful to apologize. And it drives me crazy when others don't seem to have any sense of right and wrong.
12. I tried desperately to be straight for a lot of years. Desperately. I was 23 years old before I quit faking the funk. And it turns out that I didn't really have anybody fooled anyway. I didn't really have to make a huge announcement...almost everybody, my parents included, already knew and was just waiting on confirmation. I guess my fat man appearance spoke for itself...but I always just tried to play it like I was a tomboy that never grew up. I wasn't fooling anyone.
13. I hate clothes, I hate shopping, and I have zero fashion sense. The only reason I have two closets full of nice things is because my girlfriend wouldn't have it any other way.
14. I currently have 50 wife beaters. And that's after I threw 6 away when I moved.
15. I am thrilled about summer for one reason: the return of Batwoman. This time, she's going to be the superhero of Gotham City in place of Batman...and she's a lesbian!
16. I like paying bills. Aside from my student debt, it drives me nuts to feel like I owe anything to anybody. My mom taught me when I was 20 and had my first apartment to sit down and write out all my bills at once...but I couldn't do that. As soon as a bill becomes available for me to view online, I pay it. It works better for me like that. I enjoy the sense of accomplishment and resting in the fact that I don't owe anything.
17. I've been on the brink of depression for about two weeks now. Walking a fine line. At any given moment, I can feel myself teetering and swaying...it could go either way.
18. I discovered a Half-Price Bookstore around the corner from my new place. I was thrilled. I thought Amazon was the only place I could get a book for 4 dollars.
19. I love coffee, but today, I made the horrible mistake of drinking an entire pot between the hours of 9a and 1p. I ended up jittery, anxious, heart-racing, nervous, and just generally felt awful.
20. I love my girlfriend with a love that I didn't know I had inside of me.
21. No one believes me when I tell them that I had sex in a lecture hall at my college once.
22. I love Perez Hilton.
23. I've somehow managed to always have a bedroom with character. Pink as a child and didn't have any say in it, blue when I got old enough to ask for a makeover of my bedroom, slate gray with white sponge paint, sunshine yellow, eggplant purple...it wasn't until 3 years ago that I began having white walls.
24. I love God and believe in Jesus, but I go back and forth about church and organized religion...sometimes I'm with it and sometimes I'm not. Currently, I'm not.
25. There are two Erikas. Relationship Erika and Single Erika. They're complete opposites, but I love and enjoy them both.
- swollen nuts & other ramblings
- i participated in the "25 random things about me" ...
- bullshit & anger
- my child-like attempt at poetry...plus hospitaliza...
- on loneliness...
- this day...
- sick father & bein a sidepiece
- finding money and fake titties
- Random lil entry...
- L word Sex
- if you wanna get gone...then get gone.
- I'm so lonellllyyyy....I have nobodddyyyyyy....
- a blank
- moving & boredom
- ▼ February (14)